Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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