it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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