What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
