ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
not ubering you a puppy
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
