I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He keeps bees of course he's weird
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
