Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
