I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize