I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
