I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
