dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
