you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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