It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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