My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Found the puke drawer
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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