where am i from again
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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