saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize