I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
