wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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