We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
