I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
