Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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