I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
