I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
