One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
