I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
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He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants