I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
