strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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