Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
why do cheetos always look like penises
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
