BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
