1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
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Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
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Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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