My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
