There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
