carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
home. puking in laundry basket.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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