hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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