Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
