she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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