What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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