I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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