We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
