actually, I'm a sock model
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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