in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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