Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
