Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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