the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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