can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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