I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
