what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize