No, you can still breathe under the balls.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
