Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So vagazzling was a success
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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