He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
