it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
