brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
