Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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