Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
40s are totally the cure
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
