Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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