We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have feelings that need drinking.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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