I heard we made out
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have aggressive nipples.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
