I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
two words...techno handjob
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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