Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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