You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Operation Purity has been aborted
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
