I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
