I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
