i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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