You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
