Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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